she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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