i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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