It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
