He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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