Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
