i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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