Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
they're like a gay fantastic four
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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