I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
