i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
