Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
