Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.