I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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