I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
