Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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