To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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