Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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