That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
