His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
