I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
