My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
