dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
