ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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