Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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