There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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