how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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