Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You need Xanax blowdarts
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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