That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize