You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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