I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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