Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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