I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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