it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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