OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
