I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
