How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
