This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
