so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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