New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
