i think i have two assholes
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
