come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
