Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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