We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
