What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
