I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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