Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
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