I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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