i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
false alarm. still invincible.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
