do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize