Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He better not be in your backpack
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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