He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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