I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
