that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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