That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
