good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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