I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
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I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
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Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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