Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
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I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
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Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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