It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
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