I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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