Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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