I CAN MOONWALK!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
