Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
